Always looking for animals

Sam, Katy, and Noggs in Africa

Japanuary Episode II: Robots!

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We came, we saw, we slept. Then we fought robots! As I mentioned, I love a bit of technology, me, so Japan was the place to be. Here’s why.


Why park your own car when a robot can park it for you? In Japan they have robotic car parks where you just drive into a space and the robot shuffles your car wherever there is room. It saves space, saves you the hassle, and (most importantly) its cool.

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So robots can help you park your car. What else can they help you park? Robotic toilets are science fact. They are here and they want to wipe your arse. Or at least spray stuff at it. And keep your bum warm. They play a song so people dont hear you poo. My favourites are the ones where the toilet lid springs open automatically whenever you enter the room, like a friendly greeting. “Welcome to the throne room, Master, what will it be today?” And they are everywhere. Seldom was the day that my buttocks had to sit on those boring old fashioned toilets without any buttons or central heating.

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I know what you’re thinking. Vending machines. Sure, they’re fairly robotic, but why can’t they be smarter? Any old stupid machine can pop out a Kit Kat on demand. Japan is chocka with vending machines, but not all are created equal. Some are equipped with sensors so that they can make personalised recommendations for you. He looks freezing – maybe he wants a hot drink will warm him up? She’s a bit of a lardass – maybe she should go for the diet coke. I dont actually know how they work it out but I imagine that’s what could go through their silicon brains.


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What if you could apply the convenience of vending machines with eating out? In Japan you can! Which is very handy if you don’t like having to talk to restaurant staff or you’re shit at Japanese. At lots of restaurants you decide what to eat, then buy tickets outside at a vending machine. Once inside you just exchange the tickets inside for your meal. Sorted! I know what you’re thinking. Sounds good, but i wish there were more robots involved. Well Japan’s got your back. At one restaurant we sat down at our table, where each seat had its own android tablet, which you use to order your food. As soon as the food is ready a it comes zooming out to you along a track. You take the food, press a button, and the little droid zips back to the kitchen, ready to serve the next customer. Robots make great waiters – you don’t have to tip them and they dont spit in your food.


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Stay tuned for Episode III: Food


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